Is homosexuality really haram

As a gay male I never quite understood where Muslims were getting the prohibition for homosexuality. The people of Lut committed a specific act, intercourse from the rear area, this is the single act which is punishable in Islam, not for example two men pleasuring each other's genitals without the use of the anus. And even if homosexuality in general was prohibited, how do Muslims translate and equate this to a romantic relation between members of the same gender that avoids lustful actions, and what counts as lustful action, from what I know I as a male lower my gaze from females, and the awrah of a man in front of another man is debatable I think.