Masturbation/Haram

I masturbated beside my ex friends child while she was sleeping and I was told it is Haram and is unforgivable 😭💔🙏🥺 please tell me that is not true. I'm so scared. The mother destroyed my relationship with my ex boyfriend & she's determined to keep us apart. What do I do? Her husband is Muslim. Just to clarify I was not masturbating in a sexual way. I was just trying to help myself to sleep. I have been on antidepressants for many years & I believe I have suffered some brain damage from them. They are very dangerous.