will my children treat me the same as i treated my mother

iam a 21 year old, my father was very abusive and he used to hit me curse me and use vile language for me and has absolutely no love towards me, which has caused me to be depressed and hence when my mother emotionally abuses me i loose control not due to my own but i also suffer from hormonal issues which further deteriorates my mood and i have no control over my anger. will i be forgiven, i believe im the worst daughter and i will receive the same behaviour from my future kids as so i’ve heard. I have a question even if i have repented will i still suffer from my future kids ? and will they treat me like i treated my mother although i have changed?