Seeking guidance: My journey, theological struggles, and questions about the faith

**About Me:** I am 27 years old. I am a baptized believer who came to the faith about 2-3 years ago. I try to attend Liturgy every week, observe Great Lent, and celebrate Easter and Christmas. I strive to act according to my conscience, treat people with kindness, give alms, perform good deeds, and practice understanding and forgiveness. I recognize the importance of these things; I see how overeating, malice, anger, and pride affect my life and have noticed these patterns repeatedly. I understand the core of the teachings and have read the Gospels, though I haven't read the entire Bible yet. I do not have a spiritual father. I currently live in Georgia, but I do not speak Georgian. I attend a Georgian church, but the service and the sermon are as incomprehensible to me as a service in the Russian Orthodox Church is due to the use of Church Slavonic. I go to confession and receive Communion once a month. However, I still struggle and find myself committing the same sins. I have a sincere desire to learn, grow spiritually, find answers to my questions, and strengthen my faith, but I am not sure how to move forward. **Theological Questions:** Creation vs. Science: God created Adam and Eve—how does this reconcile with the modern theory of evolution? The Nature of Christ: Why did Christ pray, and to whom, if He is God? The Trinity: What is the Trinity? What does it mean that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son (the Filioque in Catholicism), and why does Orthodoxy maintain it is from the Father alone? How can God be three Persons yet one Being? The Afterlife: What is the Last Judgment? Will everyone go to Heaven after death, or only some? What is Purgatory? What are Heaven and Hell, exactly? Sacraments: Why are the Sacraments (Mysteries) essential? The Problem of Evil: If God is love, why is there so much suffering and sin on Earth? Why do people die and suffer while the world drowns in violence and hunger? Death and Grief: If the soul reunites with God in eternity after death, why do Christians grieve and weep at funerals? Shouldn't it be seen as a blessing? Original Sin: What is original sin, and why did it occur? Why did Christ have to die and rise for us? Why was a "blood sacrifice" of His Son necessary for an all-powerful God to forgive humanity? Couldn't He have just chosen to forgive us? Redemption: Does Christ's sacrifice mean all people are now sinless and will go to Heaven? What exactly was Christ's "heroic feat" (podvig)? Chrismation: What is Chrismation, and what is its purpose? Communion: How often should one receive Communion? Is fasting required beforehand, and for how many days? The Purpose of Life: If we ultimately fall into God's eternal love after death, why does this life exist at all? Why create us if we just end up back with Him? Image and Likeness: If man is made in God's image, and man is sinful, does that imply something about God's nature? Hell and Forgiveness: If God is all-forgiving but not everyone is saved, why does Hell exist? Does God want people to suffer eternally for their mistakes? Free Will: Why do humans have the freedom to create evil? Why couldn't we have been created as exclusively kind and loving beings? Old vs. New Testament: Why is the Old Testament full of violence and mass killings, while the New Testament says "love your enemies"? How do we reconcile commands to destroy nations or the justification of slavery in some texts? Theodicy: If God is omniscient, He knew the Holocaust would happen. If He is omnipotent, He could have stopped it. If He didn't, does that mean He is either not all-powerful or not good? Adam’s Sin: If God is all-forgiving, why didn't He just forgive Adam instead of "cursing" the human race? God’s Self-Sufficiency: If God is self-sufficient and needs nothing, why create the world to "share love"? Salvation: What does "salvation" actually mean? Do people who live righteous lives but don't believe in Christ or attend church get saved? What about those who never heard of Christ (e.g., indigenous peoples)? Cosmology: Why does scripture say God created life in 6 days when the universe is ~13.8 billion years old? Denominations: Why do other religions and denominations exist? Does God want people to believe in "incorrect" things? Why is there a schism? Divine Sovereignty: If God knows everything in advance and predestines who is saved, do we actually have free will? Divinity of Jesus: In the Gospels, Jesus often calls Himself the "Son of Man." The direct "I and the Father are one" is primarily in John (written later). Why is He considered God rather than just a prophet? **Questions on Spiritual Growth:** How do I find a spiritual father or a community? What literature should I start with to continue my Christian education and strengthen my faith? I fasted during Great Lent for two years easily, but this year was extremely difficult. I only lasted three weeks and felt constant temptation to quit. I feel my faith has weakened. Is this a sin? How should I have handled it, and can I still take Communion? Is a "prayer rule" mandatory? What if I don't feel an internal "spark" or find it difficult to pray using complex, formal texts rather than my own words? **Behavioral Questions:** How should I react if someone insults Christianity or God in my presence? Should I just forgive and remain calm? **Denominational Differences:** What are the core differences between Protestantism, Catholicism, and Orthodoxy? Why did the Great Schism happen? Why did the Orthodox Church persecute the Old Believers, and why did they break away? Why is the service in the ROC in Church Slavonic if people don't understand it, while other countries use modern languages? Why do Protestants reject Sacred Tradition, monasticism, and the priesthood? Why do some branches accept same-sex marriage? Why can't women be priests in Orthodoxy and Catholicism? Infant baptism (Orthodox) vs. Adult baptism (Protestant)—what is the theological conflict here? Why do Orthodox churches use icons, candles, and gold? Shouldn't we strive for asceticism? Is it true that in some Protestant communities, you are expelled if you don't pay a mandatory tithe? Why are Protestants often viewed as "sectarians" in some cultures? Why do we pray to the Virgin Mary and the Saints? Why are there no pews in Orthodox churches? Why "torture" people by making them stand instead of allowing them to sit and concentrate better?