Unnecessarily Complicated Analysis of Anapanasati

Alright, I'm having a lot of unnecessary trouble, and would like some advice regarding anapanasati. I've attempted to understand the technique as with the *Anapanasati Sutta*, with *The Attention Revolution* of Alan Wallace, with *Turning the Mind into an Ally* by Sakyong Mipham, and have taken many classes of meditation in different contexts. Still, I am having extreme trouble lol. Therefore, I'm going to attempt asking extremely detailed questions to clarify the meaning for myself, and hopefully others. To my understand, from *The Attention Revolution* explicitly and in the *Anapanasati Sutta* in the form of the directive to "calm bodily fabrications", relaxation is necessary. Question 1: Do they mean calming the body's physical tension, i.e. muscle tension or the mental sensation of tension in the body? Now, in *The Attention Revolution* and *Turning the Mind into an Ally*, stability comes next. This occurs with the decrease of conceptualization. Yet in the *Abhidhamma* I recall seeing that until the first jhana thought is still present. What does this mean? Question 2: What do we mean by calming thoughts? Calming all thoughts? Gross thoughts? Trying to calm thoughts even though they will not ultimately subside? Then, from my understanding clarity is developed. Personally, in all these texts, I fail to grasp what is meant by clarity. Question 3: Is clarity a kind of brightness of the object, or a greater focus? Is clarity a more detailed object? Is it a part of the object or the mind? How can it be recognized? Final question: I seem to have tried to figure out all these things and meditate in a proper way. Yet, if I sit and try to meditate every day, and attempt to focus on the breathing, and I meditating in a proper way? I don't quite get what distinguishes proper and improper meditation, and whether I *should* meditate or not when possible. How long should it take to see either results or a shift in my meditation. Thank you for any advice you could give me.