Difficulty in realizing and actualizing precepts

Since my journey began, i have looked to understanding myself and the world that surrounds me. I endeavor to look at my interactions with as many views as possible as well as make attempts to make peace with myself and those of my interactions. I am frustrated and this sometimes leads to nihilistic views. I cannot express my inability to realize and actualize the concepts offered by the path. I understand it. I comprehend it. I am confounded with what i deem as imbalance. I am grateful and appreciative of my good fortune however i want to realize and actualize so that i can look at all aspects. There seems to be a disconnect between what i see, feel, hear, smell and taste. It is akin to cognitive dissonance. I understand awareness, mindfulness and realization however it seems to be at polar opposites with the 6 senses or 12 ayatanas.